In order to get a jump on my 2016 resolution to “Keep the Beach Bod the Good Lord Gave Me”, I decided to take advantage of an early wake up and go for a run while the family was still nestled in their night caps. I knocked out my mile run at a blistering 12 minute pace and slipped into the shower without disturbing the still-slumbering Yarei. I felt invigorated by my jump start and imagined myself running slow-motion on the beach, Selsun-Blue hair flowing in the wind, laughing at the cares of the world.
After drying off and getting dressed, I stood in a triumphant ‘Superman Pose’ over my snoozing wife and waited for my presence to awake her.
“Mmmfff…what are you doing?” she grumbled while squinting. No doubt my glory was too much.
“You have two more wishes” I replied.
“What are you… a genie?” she moaned in a raspy voice as she rubbed her sleepy eyes.
Hmm… her prolonged time of dormancy has dulled her ability to recognize the demigod standing before her.
“Guess what I just did.” I announced in my best superhero voice.
“Get dressed?” she stretched her long arms and yawned.
“No.” I continued my barrel-chested pose. “I went for a run… and my knee didn’t hurt, and my heart rate immediately returned to normal. I’m practically superhuman.”
“Mmm..” she took a sip of her nightstand water and sank back into her pillow. “You know what I did?”
Anticipating her equally eager desire to get a jumpstart on her 2016 Resolution, I imagined Yarei doing ball slams, body squats, mountain climbers and short sprints while I was deep in slumber.
“Tell me!!” I squealed; excitement covered my face.
“I woke up.“
And so we conclude 2015 with newfound powers: Regeneration Man, with the power to run a mile at breakneck speed and return to pre-run state within minutes, and Wake Up Woman, with the power to rouse herself at will and zap opponents with her Dry Wit Ray while still in a state of drowsiness.
Thanks to all my Suburban Luchador readers for reading and sharing my stories. I truly love writing for all 18 of you and appreciate all your comments and feedback! Keep reading and sharing next year! My hope for each of you is:
May the Lord bless you
and protect you.
May the Lord smile on you
and be gracious to you.
May the Lord show you his favor
and give you his peace. (Numbers 6:24-26)