New Year’s Memoir

from before the days Suburban Luchador burst on the scene, I present to you my New Year’s Eve Dialogue from 2013 when Elias, our first born, was 1 year old. Curl up next to your virtual yule log, grab a box of goldfish with the family and enjoy.

A New Year’s Eve dialogue, for those who have traded the thumping base, mini skirts and flashy drinks for cries of “more goldfish!” , cloth diapers, and the occasional St Croix mineral water splurge. You know who you are. It’s no use hiding under the thought that: “Maybe the baby will be stay up late tonight and then sleep in.” No.   He won’t.

“So… what do you want to do tonight, Yarei?”

“ARE YOU KIDDING!!!?? WE’RE GONNA PAARTEEE!” she pumped both party fists in the air, like she just didn’t care.

“Please stop yelling. The child is sleeping and this is our 2 hour sanctuary of peace.”

“Yes yes, Louie” she patted my head, using my party name. ” Tonight, we’re going to have the biggest party this house has EVER SEEN!” she announced to no one in the particular, arm extended and scanning the horizon, as if to defy her reality.

“Oh yeah? Well, that party better be ova by 10:30pm”

“NO WAY!! We’re going into the night! We’re going the distance!!” she began to sing… “LIFE IS A HIGHWAY, I WANNA RIDE IT ALL NIGHT LONG!”

“That’s nice. Well, the highway manager goes to bed at 8:30pm. He then reopens the highway of life at 645am, sometimes throughout the night to make sure his drivers are staying awake and alert… regardless of when we enter or exit party lane.”

“You don’t know, Louie… you just don’t know. It’s gonna be boomin’.” she mused, staring off into the distant 2014 and smiling at the party future that awaited her (at least until 10:30).

Happy New Year to you, the revelers who will be saying it at 10:30pm, but pretending it’s midnight. Here’s to you, you scandalous party animals who are awoken by “happy new year!” calls at midnight from the “wanna-be revelers” and then blame your sleepy voice on something other than being asleep for the past 2 hours: “Nah man, I wasn’t asleep. It’s been that good of a party!” only to be snitched on by a raspy voice croaking, “honey… who is that? You’ll wake the baby.”
There’s no shame in your game, my friends.

Keep on livin’ la vida parent.



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