Chip Rider

After a draining  eight-hour day followed by parent-teacher conference night, there’s nothing like surrendering your body’s weight to the embrace of the sofa… while reminiscing about commercials long gone with your equally exhausted luchadora.

Yarei sank into the recliner and stretched out her weary legs.  She leaned over the side and snatched up her bag of gluten-free, multigrain tortilla chips with much authority and allowed her mind to wander beyond the cares of the day.  Moments like these are special because they’re like ice skating while blindfolded… you never know what pattern you’ll make on the ice or how it will all end.

“You know what commercial I haven’t seen in a while?” she meandered with a loud crunch.

“Indulge me,” I crunched back.

“Double Mint Gum.” She paused, thought and munched another piece of salty, gluten-free goodness.  “Haven’t heard from them in a while.” She waved a chip in the air for emphasis.

Life sometimes throws us conversational curve balls like these, and when it does you have two choices. 1. Allow reason to take over and extinguish the moment with a look of confusion followed by an unintelligible “huh?” or 2. Volley back and keep the game alive.  I chose the road less traveled…and it made all the difference.

“You know what…” crunch!  “you’re right.”  And then, I volleyed back.  “You know who else I haven’t seen commercials for lately?”

“What’s that?” came her mouthful reply.

“Knight Rider.  Where’s he been? Whatever happened there?”

“Hmmm.” She cocked her head to one side and considered this revelation.  “Bet you don’t know the name of the car,” she jabbed a chip in my direction.

“Please, Yarei… let’s not go there.”

(For those unaware of my lovely wife’s track record with movie, TV and song quotes, I refer you to Analogies and Catch Phrase)

“Oh please… you think you know it and I don’t, blah blah blah,” she shot back in a mocking tone.

“That is absolutely what I think. So, humor me… what is the name of the car in Knight Rider?”

“Psshhh… easy.” She pulled out a perfectly shaped tortilla chipped and looked it over, as if the answer were written on it.        “Chip.”

“What?”

“Chip… that was the name of the car.  Like computer chips.  They were big in the 80s.”  She crunched with a smug look of confidence.

I’m not sure what cast more doubt on her face… my knee-jerk nasal snort or the abdominal-crushing laughter which followed.

After composing myself, I resumed.  “No,” snort  “It’s name was not Chip.

“Ok… then Kip.  Yeah, it was Kip.”

“No, that was Napoleon Dynamite’s brother.  But you’re getting warmer.”  I could see by the look in her eyes that the train was about to leave the tunnel.

She took a slow deliberate crunch which somehow reorganized the memory in her brain, like Tetris blocks lining up for a quadruple stack bonus.

“KITT!!!!” The answer ejected her out of the recliner as tortilla chips were sent flying everywhere.  She raised her hands like an Olympian crossing the finish line.

“Well done, Alex Trebek.  Once again you’ve made a mundane, pop culture trivia fact a comedy event for the world’s enjoyment.”

She motioned with two fingers towards her eyes and then towards me.  “Keep your eyes open, son… you never know when i’m gonna strike.”

       CRUNCH!

knight rider pic

 

 

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