Dipped in Gold

Ahh the magical moments of working with high school students.

Today, as a student was working on an Algebra 2 exam, he pauses for a time of mental break and reflection. Looking out the window with a pensive look, he asks me, “Mr. Rivera, is it illegal to dip hand guns in liquid gold?”

Unsure of his future career aspirations, I responded, “Well… I suppose if the gun was purchased legally, you can dip it in anything you want. I hear the Swiss dip them in chocolate.”


“No, but that would make for a nice valentine’s day gift.”

Biceps tattoos

During a last minute Publix run I spied a fellow with biceps as big as both my thighs put together. If a human wouldn’t have been attached to them, I would’ve thought they were two rogue pieces of Flintstone ham that had escaped extinction. He had barbed wire tattoos circling both ham hocks, and I couldn’t help but wonder… did he have the wire installed before the Flintstoning, when he had “lunchable-sized” ham rolls like the rest of us, in hopes of one day having Flintstone ham? You know, as an act of faith that tells the world “I may not deserve barbed wire tattoos around my biceps now… but just you wait!”
Or perhaps he waited until he reached Flintstone status and THEN, as a punctuation point to a long sentence of meat, he added the little security feature tattoo.

You don’t ask a man like that those questions, so, just like the Tootsie Pop “how many licks?” question… the world may never know.