Introducing Lucha-mail!

Dear Suburban Luchador subscribers,

 

I’m currently experimenting with MailChimp to send out notifications of new stories, eBook updates, Lucha-swag, and all things Suburban Luchador.  Please forgive me if you get an email more than twice…it’s hard to figure all this stuff out while wearing a mask.

If all works out, you should be getting the first edition of Lucha-mail by tomorrow (Tuesday) which includes the bonus story David and Goliath and Sparta.   Let me know if you don’t get it or if you have suggestions.

Thanks again for entering my ring of writing!

 

A message to my Suburban Luchador subscribers

Greetings faithful Suburban Luchador subscribers!

If you’re receiving this, it’s because you signed up to receive an email update whenever I post a new story. I want you to know how much I appreciate your readership and wanted to send you a message to invite you to join Team Mucha Lucha.

Soon I plan on launching the Suburban Luchador e-book on Kindle, Nook, and several other e-book platforms.  Depending on how well this goes, I’ll publish other books as well.  This is where I need your help.

I’d like to send you stories to preview/edit/body slam before I add them to future books. I can’t guarantee you fame and glory, but you will be immortalized as an editor in any e-book you help me with. If you’re interested in being a part of this elite team, please fill out this form below.

Thank you!

#Winning

Everybody thinks their example of #winning defines this hashtag category.  You nail the cheesecake recipe… #winning.  Two patties in your single patty burger…#winning.  The toddler ate the brussel sprouts disguised as marshmallows…#winning.  The dog peed in the cat litter…#winning.

FALSE.

These deserve a participation trophy, at most. What defines #Winning, you ask?

When your wife fishtails the minivan in front of Redbox, slams on the breaks furious-style, ejects out of the already open door and dives toward the box, DVD in her outstretched hand.  As the clock strikes 9:00, the DVD slides into the return slot with a loud “CHA-CHING” as she does a tuck roll and gymnast finish to top it off.  All of this while 9 months pregnant.

That, my friends, is #winning.

#yes

Princess Unicorn

My wife and I have an unspoken agreement. I will gladly watch the kids while she goes grocery shopping, as long as I am allowed to express my parental creativity as I see fit during her absence.

Instructions: Remove her hair from her face when she's eating, otherwise, she'll eat her hair.

 

Creative interpretation:

princess-unicorn

“Princess Unicorn: Her Horn Can Pierce The Sky…and the grapes.” 

Salsacide

It was a lazy Saturday morning in my suburban kingdom.  The air was buzzing with the sounds of lawnmowers, birds and ice cream trucks.  I was nestled in the recliner,  watching an obscure Knight Rider episode where KITT faces his arch-nemesis and evil counterpart KARR, when suddenly an impassioned argument in Spanish between a man and woman erupts in my kitchen.

“Desgraciada! Tabasco es mi hermano! Como pudieras!?” (You wretch! Tabasco is my brother! How could you!?)  burned the bottled male voice.

Startled, I sprang up to investigate as the yelling got louder and louder.

“Cobarde! No te atreverias!”  (coward! you wouldn’t dare!) came the defiant female response.  

… but by the time I arrived in the kitchen –

it was too late:

 

salsacide
look for the continuation of Salsacide on Univision, this fall.

Sibling Torment

“If necessity is the mother of invention… then boredom is the mother of sibling torment.”  Suburban Luchador. 

rope tie 1rope tie2rope tie3rope tie4

(don’t worry…as soon as I captured the moment for posterity, I rescued the princess from the bonds of slime.  This is why it’s great having your own kids…’cause you just can’t do this with someone else’s.) 

    What creative torment have your kids come up with to combat boredom?  Comment below!

Dating Profile

I admit this is not an original entry, but now and then a gem like this rises like a phoenix from the ashes of redundancy and monotony of facebook, so I must display it in my trophy case. It reminds of the time I took Yarei on a hot date to a taco stand in a shady part of town,  only to see my unaccompanied, parked car rolling onto a busy street… more on that later.

If I were a single luchador, I would hire this guy to write my dating profile… and it would still snag me Yarei.

dating profile