As the rest of the nation has seen, Florida recently experienced a heavy downpour that left lawns across the state defying suburban mowers everywhere.
One morning during this episode I scanned my overgrown lawnscape, like Batman overlooking Gotham City as the hordes of darkness advance. And like those hordes of darkness, the grass taunted me with each drop of rain because it knew it would not be challenged anytime soon. As the unruly gang of green blades and weeds was amassing large numbers for an eventual takeover, I pondered what lied ahead. If the unrelenting rain continued, our trampoline would be irrelevant… my child could just climb the roof, jump and free fall into a small rain forest. My fledgling lemon and orange trees wouldn’t have to worry about making it past infancy because they’d just give into peer pressure and turn into a long blade of swaying grass.
From my vigilante post in the living room, I spoke to no one in particular in my best Batman voice, “The grass is winning… but perhaps it’s the grass I deserve.”
“What?” asks Yarei as she lounges on the couch watching Grey’s Anatomy.
I continued Batmanning. “The only thing necessary for the triumph of unruly grass… is for good mowers to do nothing.”
“Mmm…” she sipped on her chai tea latte, engrossed in her silly medical drama while evil was encroaching upon us. “You may wanna mow that before the HOA does something.”
“The HOA has no jurisdiction here… besides, the words of Milli Vanilli ring true today more than ever,” I mused; in the distance thunder clapped and lightning lit up the sky.
“Is that a coffee flavor?” she continued sipping and watching.
I Ignored her naiveté and allowed her to live in her safe bubble… for now. I continued scanning the dark horizon as the heavens poured down their wrath. “Yes, that’s exactly what i’ll tell the HOA…Blame it on the rain, yeah yeah… ’cause the rain don’t care.”
(this is an interactive blog, so go ahead and cue the song below to experience the darkness of the moment).